Moving on is simple...

...it’s what you leave behind that makes it so difficult.

It's almost 6am and I am still denying my sleep. I have no idea if I'm ready for another day, I don't understand what's making me feel so gloomy inside.

So much happened yesterday for me doing absolutely nothing. So much that had happened mentally.

I woke up yesterday afternoon reluctantly cause I felt a sudden sadness in my dream and I was waking myself up. I hate sad dreams, it makes me sad and I know these dreams reflect how I feel inside. I don't exactly know why I am sad inside, but I kinda had a clue. I know of this bitterness in my heart still regarding my ex relationship with Khodi. I know I'd get it over with soon, but at this point, I haven't given up on trying to understand where we went wrong that had caused him to lose his respect for me as a person.

How I really feel inside was just like I was born the day I met him, I lived a while when we were in love and I've died a little when we fell apart.

In the midst of all these emotional sh*t, I still felt like a bum the entire day.

Then in the evening I received a text from my old roommate that I have not heard from for months that my ex-colleague, my friend, had passed away. So Crystal, I hope you rest in peace.

What a random day. I hate days like this. For I look like poop, feel like poop, health's like poop.. and I am poop.