Back to the beginning.

This is some bullshit. How did I gain everything one day, and lose them all in another? How did I from Ms. Finance "higher up" prospect to shitless bum? I am not putting myself down, it's just that how the f*ck shit?

Ok, let's be a heartless scum"bitch" and say it's all caused by the death of my grandma. << My excuse.

I am so frustrated looking back at what I had and what I've lost. It's gonna be work again to get back up to where I was. It's like counterstrike kz jumping map except you won't be able to save and get back to the point you were at last.

I'm not depressed, don't get me wrong. Maybe a little. But it does really get to me that I am no longer the state that I was, I know these little turds around me that hates me are like giggling "hehehe, bitch is back to stage 1". @#$%*!

Yea. Bitch is back to stage 1. And I realized what matters. I am back at stage 1 with nothing but I always have my precious mother. Thank lord. Now I just have to worry when I lose her, then I'm in deep shit. I don't think I wanna live after that point.

So god, if you take her ever away from me, I'm going up there and bite your ass.