Too quickly.

Spring break's getting close. I'm amazed how time passed so quickly, before you know it, you're at the end of it. Life haven't been very exciting since I've step into college, I don't know.. maybe I just choose not to live the ordinary "college experience" living my life like I had before, I've already been there done that. I want to live a different life, different from what I had before. I want to be what I haven't done for a long time, just being myself for me. Not saying that I am living lives for others, but I've soaked myself in their shallowness just to be the norm. I can't make things more elaborate but I know I don't want to put myself in my past situations with drugs and alcohol.

It's different now, I live life for myself not for others to see, not for my parents. Ever since I've met Eric, it has been quite different. Not that I did it for him entirely, but I've seen life in a "cleaner" way, its not all about last night's trip, its about able to be happy without it. Now instead of being addicted to being high, I'm addicted to traveling at high speed..

Cancun isn't happening this spring. I am having troubles being able to pay for next semester's tuition and I have a boarding deposit on due soon. Sometimes when I close my eyes, I have the ability to hold on to the world. I remember Josh, my ex for years, told me its hard when the world falls on your shoulders and told me I know nothing of life, I'm too young to understand. I rather not if it is more than what I have on my back.