Nightmare to Fairytale.

I'm basically typing with one hand. Just as I thought things were going good with my mom, it crumbled. Once again, even when I tried to walk away, our conversation at the dinner table turn sour and this time, she's gone too far. So I gave the table some fisting, and banged the back of my head with the countertop. I lost control that night; I had a concussion & a fractured wrist. Not a pretty sight but it convinced me with the fact that no matter how hard I've tried to have a decent mother-daughter relationship, it wouldn't work. I've decided, it's alright, I love my mom dearly and if we can't get along, we can't. I'd take it as some opportunity to see things clearly.



Anyway, school term starts once again next week. Great, I've got to finish everything that I piled up for the whole summer within 3 days. Well O well, don't matter. I'd manage. So well, I've quitted SPiNX from as a jockey officially. Reason why? It don't even worth my energy trying to type about it. That's why.

Josh reminded me today about little childhood things that I actually have. As a kid, I didn't have much but never have I whined, complained cause I know I'm still considered fortunate to have food everyday on my table that I don't have to work for. I am glad and grateful things happened the way it did cause it had moulded me into who I am.

Now, I'm listening to this track from the cartoon movie, Thumbelina, which was my very favorite. It's such a beautiful track so I'm just sharing with you guys. :)

Bittersweet.

...I feel nocturnal. I refuse to sleep at times till that bright star light years away starts to rise up to blind the eyes of many like myself. I was woken up early morning yesterday by the great korean, Jessica Han, who have no clue that I had about 2 hours of sleep the night before. Of course, she was up early as usual and decides to drop by. We're suppose to pick up our schedule for school today, and it appears we have different required classes that had allocated us to different halls etc. She seems pretty upset about it, well, I kinda am too. However, the bright me drown the pain down by patronizing the local sushi bar. O' how I embrace my heritage that I detest. It was semi-alright, in a sense since not actually Japanese but Koreans that owned the restaurant and they tend to stick bigger pieces of raw delicacies on that unevenly rolled rice.


Moderation. Bigger pieces of fish do not mean value for money, but diarrhea, Matt. My mom and I had a talk after I was done with Jess. We actually spoke more these days which was obviously odd from the fact that we hardly agree on anything before. Yesterday's conversation was actually fruitful and for once, we ended the 6 hour conversation over the last cup of tea in the same room. No one walked out in annoyance, no one was upset. I have a good feeling about this. I really do.

Or... maybe I am just sleepy.

Speaking out or hide?

Humans are the most intellectually advanced species in the entire planet. We are given, eyes to see, a nose to smell, nerve system to feel and react, brain to think, ears to listen and a mouth to speak. However, not everyone I've known and seen, that actually make full potential use of what we have been given, then later regret why we haven't done so. I don't want to be one of few who regret not doing certain things and so, I found out things about the human society that I simply can't comprehend.

Topic: Speaking out or to hide?

As years passed, I've grown to try understanding the world little by little. However, the world is complex. Like what I've got to say, could be a little hard to completely understand.

Recently, I had to speak my mind out finally with what I was unhappy with and people were obviously offended by my remarks, instead of talking to the source itself, they went to someone else to whine about what I had to say. It seems like a common thing to go through. But why is it common and what is right anyway? I have known people who tell me they wished they were as honest as I am about how the feel about people, but why had they wished? They have a mouth to speak openly too, right? Wrong. Yes, They may have a mouth to speak, but they are afraid to speak their mind.

There are so many things that I don't get, that I know I might never get a complete answer to.

I believe there is a consequence in everything you do however, if you think you can be responsible for it, there's no harm doing what you think is right. Well I knew I was responsible if I wanted to say something harsh, so I told everyone of them, go ahead and speak to me about it. Somehow, no one did. Man I don't know where this is going but I am just sharing how i feel and I might just continue this when I get some hype to write.

So this would be continued..

I knew someone would endorse on my idea.

Courtesy of engrish.com

Stupidity.

Yes. I am complaining about "friends" that I've got and others that simply refuses to use that one "sense" that matter most:

Common Sense.

Why should one not take basic sense with grace? Having basic Common Sense, it is something that one should be proud of. Oh, right. We are talking about people who deny instincts, acting otherwise, like mindless animals.

Stupidity, a losing result of the common sense struggle.

But what can I say? We are human, so strong yet fragile in the mind like we are doomed to the flaws of humanity. Reflect a little. Maybe like me, you see the answer.

I am back.